It's just like the Real World with babies
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
