whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
