It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize