i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
