At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
