she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize