Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
