The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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