maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
