Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
