The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
