I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I touched a dick in church today
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
