next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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