I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
