i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
When are your genitals available?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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