Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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