chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
