it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
