OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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