I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
