i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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