apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It was confusing and full of hummus
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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