dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
