they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
