did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
