I like my sex mixed with concussions.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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