We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
