people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
