I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
