Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
