another moral hangover. fuck.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
