Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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