OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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