i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
