i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
