First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
