That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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