yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
