I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
