i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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