that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
