are you so shy because you have an std?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Randomize