i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sorry about my life...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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