It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
