Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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