Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
