Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
