I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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