She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
