and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
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we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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