Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
