Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
