yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
