And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
