Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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