with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
