I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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