her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
