Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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